i haven’t really had any close friends since i graduated and left massachusetts. apparently i have no trouble finding a girlfriend and all the trouble finding friends. normally that’s not such a bad problem to have, but today it is.
i think i’m feeling it even harder because i haven’t made many friends in portland yet, it’s the first time in 4 years that i’m in town for thanksgiving, and i don’t really have anyone to hang out with. and anyone who i would normally meet up with over the holidays is either here already or not coming back to portland, so i don’t even have anyone to see who i haven’t seen in a while. i’m just a bit bummed out.
Things I did this weekend:
Had a super lazy day on Friday and watched master chef with deirdre all day and went to happy hour.
Went to brunch at sweedeedee on Saturday where we are quickly becoming regulars. I’m way too excited about this. Did some shopping and looked at all the cutest things in stores along Mississippi. Went to a harvest feast dinner thing with all the queers and half of smith college.
Went to work today for a little baby shift. Got a surprise check for $1,700 because of a lawsuit sbux was involved in in Massachusetts. Almost died.
Tomorrow I have the day off again and I fully intend to treat myself and play all the bingo at liberty glass.
Today I finished a book for the first time in a few months (I’ve been a little distracted since d and I started seeing each other) and I feel really good about it. I’ve been leaving a trail of half-finished books behind me since August…
“There is no designated time for anything in your life. You don’t have to have your first kiss at any certain time, you don’t have to get married in your 20s and you don’t have to do anything just because other people think it’s best. In fact, you will be much better off if you just do what your heart says. The day you stop caring what other people think is the day their opinions don’t mean anything, because you’re not there to give them weight.”—10 Things I Wish I Could Have Told Myself 5 Years Ago (via perfect)
Girlfriends that let you borrow their cashmere sweaters, leave you the use of their house when they go to work and leave you with all the tea in the world, the cutest cat, and most of a homemade apple pie are the best.
i finally have a real couch (my second major furniture purchase).
i also finally have a bed that is not a twin (due to loss of first major furniture purchase).
spending the rest of my night wrapped in a pendleton camp blanket and drinking all the vanilla almond tea and watching moonrise kingdom until deirdre gets done with work. i am exhausted but feeling so good and productive and like my apartment is actually a home and maddi and i can stop living like frat boyz with no furniture.
Today my teeth and jaw really really hurt and my dad and I got in a fight when we were leaving the dentist. I’m trying to figure out all of my feelings and feeling so happy but also feeling like I want to bail on seeing a show with one of my friends tonight so that I can eat takeout thai in my underwear and cry.
Tomorrow I’m buying a couch and also moving my bed out of my childhood room finally and I’m pmsing and I’m pretty sure I might explode.
“When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partners’ body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goose bumps, and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.”—unknown (via fuckinq)
Having the slowest night humanly possible at work. Sliced my finger open pretty badly on a broken French press (real life barista things). Ask me some things to make my night go a little faster/better?
good lord, the way you look at me when you think that i’m not paying attention (but really i can see you out of the corner of my eye) makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst into a million pieces (in a good way).
So I had the best idea for a date. A SWEATER SHOPPING DATE.
First you get coffee. Then you go to thrift shops and buy sweaters. Then you bring the sweaters home and wash them. While they are in the washer/dryer, you make out and stuff. Then, you take the sweaters out of the dryer and you put them on and you get all cozy and eat snacks and watch movies in your cozy clean sweaters! And you kiss a lot. The end.
LITERALLY WHAT THE PERFECT DATE
This is literally my life. Except it usually involves d “borrowing” my sweaters…