glad that i just got home home from the bar and it’s nearly 1 am and i haven’t done any packing whatsoever and i have to be at the airport at 5:30 am. this wouldn’t be a problem if i didn’t have 2 loads of laundry to do.
got straight A’s again this semester. i’m pretty happy. i haven’t gotten anything lower than an A- since sophomore year when one time i got a B+ in stats. and this was also my first time working and going to school.
i need a 3.906 to graduate summa cum laude and i think i’m at a 3.89 right now so. all A’s again next semester i suppose.
i know you try to concentrate on naked boobs, vaginas and lady asses most of the time but seriously. what what what are you doing with your male models.
who is dressing them? they look scraggly and either like over-the-top hipsters or broskis.
i bought a shawl collared rugby sweatshirt in the store today and went to the page for it on the aa website to find some outfit inspiration. the sweatshirt in the store looked great because someone had paired it with a plaid flannel button-down in the display. but the pictures on the website are the most uninspiring garbage. pairing it with a t-shirt, really? this broski looks like he’s going to the gym in a macy’s ad. it’s stupid.
Me: Okay so if orientation is a choice, choose to be gay, right now.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because I don’t find men attractive
Me: So CHOOSE to find them attractive
Him: ……. I can’t.
Me: Sorry, WHAT was that? You CAN’T????
we need to get beyond this argument that being gay is not a choice, because guess what? for some people it IS a choice. I do know women that have chosen to be lesbian because they feel safer with women than with men (one of these women went through A LOT of trauma as a child). We can argue all day and night that we deserve equal rights because we didn’t choose to be this way, but the real thing is that that shouldn’t matter.
this is AMERICA. you should be able to choose to be in a same sex relationship just as you should be able to choose to be asexual, heterosexual, or single. By stating that its “not a choice” we’ll forever be butting heads with the religious and explaining ourselves forever. the basic fact is, however, that we shouldn’t have to explain ourselves. our personal lives are just that and it doesn’t matter who we love, we just want equal rights. end of story.
amen. biological determinism sucks. my life shouldn’t have to be proven scientifically or any other way. stating that being gay is not a choice will not only lead people to forever question that and try to prove you wrong, but it also excludes tons of people.
as for me, i don’t really care if my loving a woman was nature vs. nurture. i spent a lot of time worrying about this when i was first coming out; I worried that i was being influenced by listening to tegan and sara and the people that i was friends with who were mostly lesbian/queer/trans. i was scared to come out because what if i wasn’t really gay? what if i was just subconsciously becoming gay because of all these other influences? was i really as gay as the girls who figured out that they liked other girls when they were 3 and i didn’t until i was 18? and then i decided “so fucking what” because i shouldn’t have to prove my gayness and why i like girls. saying that people can only be biologically gay ignores and invalidates tons of peoples’ experiences where that may not be the case and makes them feel like that they will never be gay enough or make them forever question whether they have the elusive “gay gene.” it’s stupid. people should be able to do what they want. it IS a choice. we are all autonomous people.
in a year or two i might get a masters in teaching to become a high school social studies teacher. we’ll see. it’s obviously a long way off and i should probably do some volunteer work to make sure that i really like teaching first. but i love history and cultural geography and anthropology (which is my minor) and social studies would combine all three. i’m just not really confident in my journalism degree and i know i’ll need to go to grad school for something or law school if i’m ever going to have a career. and i have it on good authority from a social studies teacher that in a few years most of the social studies teachers around the US will be retiring (which makes sense because all the social studies teachers that i remember were in their 60s) and so lots of jobs will be opening up. and apparently there’s an enormous lack of people taking that career track to fill their shoes - everyone wants to teach elementary school, english, math or science.
also the university of washington is the 9th best school in the country for education and their M.I.T. program only takes a year and by then i could declare residency.
normally i don’t gush about sarah, i usually just say she’s being cute or silly or whatever. but seriously? i am amazingly lucky. i am beyond ecstatic to have such an intelligent, hilarious, silly, supportive, playful, responsible, caring and beautiful partner. she compliments me in thousands of ways and yet, challenges me in ways i need it. i am so excited to begin my life with her in seattle. in not being able to see her these two weeks, i have truly reflected on how fortunate i am to have a partner that makes me disgustingly happy. i am confident without doubt that our relationship will continue to grow. distance really does make the heart grow fonder. less than 48 hours until she’s home. can’t wait to celebrate!
i have the most amazing girlfriend in the world. sometimes she makes me feel silly and mushy gushy and incredibly special. i’m glad that i have someone who loves me at all, let alone in the ways that mara does, which are the best ways. i’m super glad to come home to her on thursday. and i’m super glad to come back to portland with her in march and then start our lives together in seattle this summer. it’s going to be quite an adventure.
all i want to do right now is sit inside my living room in amherst and drink tea and be super super cozy and watch it snow.
doesn’t look like that’s going to happen for a while though…new england needs to get its act together. i’ve now used my shearling-lined bean boots more in portland than i have in amherst. and this is also my last year in new england, for now.
i wish that more of my dad’s cousins still lived in seattle, because i miss driving up there on christmas day and opening presents there. but alas, i’ll be living there next year!
so instead my dad and i are going to do our usual christmas thing that we’ve done since i was about 5 (the years that we didn’t go to seattle) and we’re getting dressed up and going to the heathman hotel downtown for lunch and then joining all of portland’s jews/lonely people without families/people trying to escape their families at the movie theater. this year i think we’re seeing hugo and i’ll have to suffer through 3D because i want to go to the living room theater so i can have a beer while watching the movie.
so far christmas is pretty good. my toilet broke this morning so i’m pretty sure god or whoever hated me for a while. but i went to my mom’s house and baked rugelach and went out for dinner and did presents and i might be getting a basically brand new vw passat from the parents of a family friend because they can’t drive anymore. so that’s exciting news.
right now i’m sad because i left little women, which is my absolute favorite movie to watch on christmas, in massachusetts. but now that i’m home i have a tv in my room again so i can just watch a christmas story in bed forever. maybe at some point i’ll watch the holiday or love actually.
i’m also pretty sad because mara is at home across the country and i’m 3 hours behind which makes talking difficult and neither of us do long distance well. mostly i’m just excited to go home on thursday so we can cuddle and see each other again. i’m i’m especially excited for next year when we get to do all this stuff together.
got a haircut yesterday and have now been mistaken for a boy for 95% of my day.
went into the levi’s store to get a belt, asked about their 50% off sale on women’s belts and was repeatedly guided to the men’s section. pretty sure that’s the first time that that’s happened. i told the guy that i couldn’t fit into men’s belts and i think he was really confused and never figured out whether i was a girl or a really skinny boy.